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Writer's pictureSonia Perez

Tell me Again how a Crush Should Feel


Author: Sara Farizan

Genre: YA, Romance, Contemporary

First Published: October 7, 2014

Quick Description: High-school junior Leila has made it most of the way through Armstead Academy without having a crush on anyone, which is something of a relief. Her Persian heritage already makes her different from her classmates; if word got out that she liked girls, life would be twice as hard. But when a sophisticated, beautiful new girl, Saskia, shows up, Leila starts to take risks she never thought she would, especially when it looks as if the attraction between them is mutual. Struggling to sort out her growing feelings and Saskia's confusing signals, Leila confides in her old friend, Lisa, and grows closer to her fellow drama tech-crew members, especially Tomas, whose comments about his own sexuality are frank, funny, wise, and sometimes painful. Gradually, Leila begins to see that almost all her classmates are more complicated than they first appear to be, and many are keeping fascinating secrets of their own.


Review:


This was a quick easy-to-get-through read. It's pretty obvious that is a YA book, you can see it in the way the characters behave, the teenage angst, and their immature behavior befitting their age. Still, this book is straight to the point, realistic, and groundbreaking.


I need to say there are a few warnings if you pick this book up. We have a queer person getting outed with ill intent, a supporting minor character having a relationship with an adult, ableism language, unchallenged biphobia, and unnecessary girl hate. It’s been a while since I read it and I have returned the book to the library so I can't remember if the trigger warnings were mentioned or not in the start of the book.


Moving on.

This story is about Leila, she's a closeted lesbian from a Persian family living in the USA. Therefore her hidden sexuality is a point of stress for her. She fears her family's rejection. At the same time, she is trying to maintain her good grades, and manage an unrequited crush from one of her best friends, a boy she holds dear and with whom she has so much in common- but how can she make him understand that they can't date without giving him the truth? Boy after all are not known for taking no nor accepting indirect refusals.


Leila is a meek, subdued character. She has this precise humor and is always trying to look out for her friends, her insecurity is also something you can relate to, especially in those teenage years. She has a way with her words. What drew me to her was her witticism and friendly banter, and her initial reluctance to open herself to the world. Her growth is truthful and enormous. She suffers from what every human does- she feels alone, that her troubles are unavoidable and earth-shattering assuming everyone around her has their shit together and everything figured out. They do not, not the other teens who appear so self-assured, not the popular kids, not the adults in her life.


It’s fantastic to read a book where a queer person has an amazing support from friends, where she have a vital but complicated relationship with her family. It's refreshing to see that a family is integrated to the whole storyline, especially in YA stories. The supportive characters and the whole plot in general is diverse in terms of race and sexuality without making it feel as forced, the setting being in USA makes it more realistic. The Persian culture is embedded in the story, I have found that reading about this culture is very interesting for me, and I'll probably actively look for more stories with this cultural background in the future. Leila discussed plenty of marks that put her relationship with her parents in to strain, because of course as the American child of an immigrant family, they place a lot of expectations in their kids after all they have such a great opportunity after being born in such a privileged situation.


This feels like such an important message, it's not something that has never been said before, but it needs to be shared. We need people to stop seeing queerness as something alien. This book is meant to make people realize what we can't allow to continue

  • The constant fear of LGBT+ people who felt the need they need to clarify what they are to people who wouldn’t understand simply because they can’t ponder outside their box.

  • Crippling fear of LGBT+ people suffer because they are afraid their family and friends might disown them, attack them -vanish them from their minds and lives for no other reason than trying to be true to themselves.

  • The fear, they are always unsafe.

  • The fear that someone might rob them of their privacy.



This was used for the challenges:

  • #AYearAThon- Pride month

  • Good representation for Queer people and racial diversity.

  • Mentions of the challenge for racist behavior in school and within a larger community.

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